Word

Right now, I'm in bed in a house in Outer Banks. My family rented a house for the week. The weather has been really nice and I'm getting sunburn for the first time. I'm going to have to make my hair black again when I get home. But yeah, I'm pretty sure the hole in the ozone layer was right above the beach today. I was wearing sunscreen and I still got a little crisp.

Let's see, life...
I've been having a decent summer. I'd like to be hanging out with friends more often, but otherwise it's been decent. I won $25,000 from Stride Gum, so I didn't have to get a job. Most of it went to paying off school, but I kept 5,000 for myself. I got a Wii, some games, got my PS3 fixed, took my friends out to dinner, and I'm getting a 50" plasma with speakers for my dorm. Honestly, I feel like a piece of shit because of it, and some of my friends make me feel like shit for it. I know that I don't deserve the money, but I make it a point to be as generous as possible with it.

Other than that anomaly, everything is the same. I wish I were playing music, but I'm not. Me and Dave started up an underground rap project, but that's been stagnant for a couple weeks. We decided on inviting my brother to play drums for my dream project that will never happen. I hope it actually comes together.

I have some solid ideas for my script now. I'll start those really soon.

I'm some kind of poser, because I'm not sure what I like on my own. It seems like I model people around me too much.

I want the new HORSE album to come out now so I can start enjoying music again. I'm so bored of music. The last good album that I've bought that I was actually able to listen to over and over again was the new #12, but I've played a hole in that thing. Jon Karel owns the drums. I tried to quell the hunger with that new Poison The Well album, but it's just not catchy enough for me. It's damn good music, but I can't get into it too well.

I need to do so many things, but I'm so unmotivated. I think I like doing nothing too much. I want to paint, write, learn keyboard, do crafts, go places, etc., but I don't feel like it.

I've been riding my bike a lot lately. I think the week before we left to come here, I rode a total of about fifty miles over the course of four days. It feels good to be outside and doing something.

Dave's phone is broken and that's a piss in my ass. It's my fault though. I chose not to buy umbrella from the umbrella man before in started pouring in Central Park before the Explosions In The Sky show. I'm an idiot.

I'm such a horrible combination of bottled up creativity and relentless laziness.

Sleepless dawn

My mind is a stirring vat of goo.

Whoa!

Wake up

Camera phone =

i was twitching

Last night, I had a brief stress-induced mindsnap. I was angry, annoyed, sad, and hysterical in different random sequences for about an hour. Today, I feel like I understand the world better.

I was in Long Island today at a birthday for Katie's rela-someone. I think his name was Tony. Great uncle, maybe? Third cousin? I don't know.

I'm going to program a rap beat now.

stagnation

I want to be playing music, but nobody else plays music. I mean, the kind(s) I'd like to play. I don't know how to meet people in general, let alone find band members that aren't either a) between thirteen and sixteen or b) complete tools. I'm pretty sure David and I are set on producing one song on our own with our own ideas and seeing if anybody emerges from the woodwork after that.

My brother left God Of War on the TV and the soundtrack that keeps looping is really eerie and airy. Like a doom whistle of some kind. I think he's in Pandora's temple.

I realize now how terrible the metal scene is. It's all about being tough, different (while being the same as everybody around you), or "brutal." I use the word brutal every now and then to describe something, but I'm coming to terms with how wrong that is probably on the same level as the generations before me have used "radical" and "gnarly." They're meaningless buzz words that don't properly convey what is truly intended. I need to improve my vocabulary.

Terminator: Salvation was a disappointment. As Jhonen Vasquez said: "It was no Terminator: Salvation trailer."

I have a lineup of shows I'm attending this summer so far:

June 10th: Dillinger and #12
June 14th: Oktober Skyline and Harrison Bergeron reunion show
July something: Arsonists Get All The Girls
July something: IWRESTLEDABEARONCE
some date I forget: Comadre if I'm able
August something: HORSE the band CD release show (in my car)

I've been staying up until sunrise way too often, yet almost unwillingly. I can't seem to fall asleep before then.