there's a nice purple lion beside me

I need to make it a point to post in this a little more often. Thoughts that aren't so big that happen on a day to day basis are interesting. I want to try to preserve those. Also, I want to preserve the mood that I get in every now and then where I become very blue and decide that I'm motivated enough to do just about anything. I was in that mood for most of the day yesterday, but it's mostly gone now. I don't like the fact that it's gone now. It's so fleeting. I need it. Otherwise, I'm a pile of lazy gunk.

I really need to get back into the position where I can write and perform music. I need to find musicians that are good and that I can easily communicate my ideas with. I'm not good enough as an instrumentalist to produce anything of my own, but one of the only things that I'll ever be confident in is the fact that I'm a pretty decent vocalist and that I have the ability to think up music and communicate it to people who can execute it and also supplement it with the ideas that they have. I had a taste of that when I was in Lest We Forget. One of the best passages of music that we wrote in that band was due in great part to a thought that I tried really hard to communicate to the T and it turned out to be very good. I need to be in that kind of atmosphere again, except this time in a style of music that I really love. I want to combine every kind of music that I like into a huge style that has a few foundations and endless possibilities.

My girlfriend printed out a coloring page of a cute lion and she colored it in with different shades of purple for me. I like it a lot.

I need to find a way to reach out into this big, muddled mass that society is today and find people who share my desire to make good music. Explosions In The Sky got started because one of the members put up some fliers. Nothing is that easy anymore. Even with convenient things like Craigslist around, it seems that the only people that want to play music nowadays are between the ages of thirteen and seventeen and they either want to play music like Paramore or Alesana.

The generations after me are complete garbage and the generations before me are so goddamned respectable. I'm part of the little hairline crack between them. Being born in 1990 is a pain in the ass.